I Love Us!

“We love Him because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19

I love us!

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of a man I definitely counted as a friend. He was always joyful, supportive and so much more. It is not often you attend a funeral and walk away with a theological lesson. Yet, with Tim Hellman, crazier things have happened.

The priest shared that Tim and his wife taught him about “loving us.” They didn’t say to each other, “I love you.” Rather they always said, “I love us.” I found this to be profound.

What is it we love in another, especially our spouse. On the surface, we certainly love who they are, how they look, what they do, and how they add to our life. However, Tim found the true nugget of truth. It is in the relationship. It is in what makes two individuals an “us”.

I pondered all day on this. I realized that what I love most about my wife is us. The relationship we have. I love her beauty (she is amazing). I love her kind and gentle spirit. I love the massive amounts of grace and mercy she showers on everyone. I love her willingness to step out of her comfort zone and follow this crazy man. But most of all, I love us! I love who we are together. I love the relationship.

As the Good Book tells us in Mark 10:8, “…’and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.” It is a principle I have often referenced, but haven’t put into practice in my language. What we say matters. It is important to love others. However, saying, “I love you” acknowledges you are outside of me; separate. “I love us” is togetherness, relationship; two becoming one.

Jesus spoke of this in John 14. He begins verses 10 & 11 with a question, “Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? … Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me…”. He is establishing the relationship. God the Father. God the Son. The two are one. Us.

But He doesn’t stop there. He goes on in verse 20 talking about becoming a Christian and receiving the Holy Spirit and says, “At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.” A relationship. Us.

How many lives would be lived differently if we understood that relationship. If we walked through the day as us, rather than walking as ourselves. If we loved us, rather than loving something outside of ourselves and separate. I believe God loves us. And we should love us too.

How many marriages would be lived differently if we saw it more clearly as two becoming one; us? To live and walk as us? How would it change our viewpoint to love the relationship more than the individual? What grace, mercy and forgiveness would we extend to us, that we might not extend to them?

I learned much from my short time with Tim. Yesterday, as I said goodbye to him for now, he had one last lesson for me: I love us!

When it comes to my Lord and Savior, I love us! When it comes to my wife, I love us! When it comes to my children and grandchildren, I love us! When it comes to my friends, I love us! When it comes to you dear reader, know this, I love us! And I pray in each case that God would teach me to focus on and grow the relationship; us. To walk through life everyday, not as an individual, but as us.

I love us! Thank you Tim!

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